d0 n0t sEek dEaTh, dEaTh wiLL fiNd y0u

" I want y0u t0 sTay "

It was August 17 when I arrived to Davao. Knowing nothing why my father wanted me to go home. But sad to say that my mother was confined in the Intensive Care Unit(ICU) after she undergo Ct Scan. I was shocked when I saw my mother, She didn’t know me her eyes were blurred and she cant speak well. Once my aunt and my father frankly as my mothers doctor what’s her illness, but sad to say that I heard what they had talked, that my mother life was only 10 % those injected and machined attached to her are the only source why she breath. My mother had a Malignant Brain Tumor. Like a strong avalanche, hot tears tricked uncontrollably down my cheeks, I keep on hiding my face as I avoid the congretion witness my sudden outburst. One morning my family had decided to get all those apparatus injected to my mother. Im physically present as the doctors get all of them. Crying movingly, i converse with God saying “Lord, ngano gikuha man nimo siya?Wala pabiya jo nakaingon sa iya ug sorry, I love you and most of all thank you “ for all she have done to me. I kept on crying as I pray on to god. I really regret that I haven’t find the nerve to approach her and say these simple words “Thank you, Ilove you and Sorry ma” . God took my mother away from me. Wherever I go just to forget what happened but I can’t. Every time someone told me and asked “patay na daw imo mama” I cant answer them because I would cry. These happening brought me into darkness and questioned my self should I feel happy for she has already passed away and has, at last, found peace and comfort after all the pain and suffering she had experience because of her illness.To live is Christ and to die is gain this was the thought written on my mothers coffin as what she want when she was still alive. Being the youngest of the family its hard for me to face this surprising incident. My friend told me to keep strong without her presence. My best friend Paolo say I should assumed that she was on abroad. I always thought it was just a dream. After the burial of my mother we went home, I marched directly to my room and sat at the edge of the bed crying. I shut my eyes and slowly uttered these words…..”Mama, kabalo ko na its to late for me to say these words to you. Pero kabalo ko na you can hear me anyhow. I just want to thank you, for beliving in me. Thank you jud kayo sa tanan” I opened my eyes with the feeling that she had heard what I have just said. All I do now is to accept what happened because I know that it was just a challenge for me to be independent. Though shes gone for good, she had this part in my heart and she will remain forever remembered. Because I now believe that we all came from dust and soon became dust.